The European Commission "has announced an agreement whereby English will
become the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the
reports that part of negotiations, "Her Majesty's government has conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement", and has accepted a
5-year phase-in plan for EuroEnglish.
In the first year the letter "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the "k:" This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
There will inevitably be some publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when
troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20 percent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mess of the
silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!
Und zen ve vil take over ze vorld! (Himmel!)