ASP and open relay

I'm doing some programming for a site where I need to send e-mail messages when someone submits an online form. I usually use CDONTS or Active Messenger to send mail, but with this particular server, it wasn't working. The "tech support" people at the hosting company told me they don't allow open relay, and that I need to supply a user name and password within my ASP script in order to send mail. I've never done this and can't seem to find any online tutorials to tell me how. The tech support person doesn't actually know ASP, so he's no help. I tried including the IP address of the mail server in my Active Messenger, but that didn't help.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please keep in mind that I'm self-taught and relatively new at ASP programming, so the more simply you can put it, the more helpful it'll be. Thanks!
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